Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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