Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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