Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
if only i could text you this smell
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
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I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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