So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
