So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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