I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
