Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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