WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
