Please, let me fuck your mom
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
