Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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