awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
