it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
I don't deserve a penis
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?