Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.