THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
