Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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