I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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