Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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