wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
