Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
3 2 1 whiskey
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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