I have demons in me.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize