We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
