Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
