No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
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it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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