sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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