i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
