If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
