I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize