pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
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its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
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Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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