You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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