You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
