and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
