I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
