ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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