I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
