The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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