I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
