Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
