We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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