I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
