just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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