thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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