No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
