Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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