i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
