my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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