The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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