you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
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I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
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I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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