with your own penis?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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