I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize