Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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