When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
