Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
