I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize