ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
