He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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