apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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