i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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