i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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