i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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