that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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