About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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