Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
