forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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