so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
