who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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