plz talk dirty to me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
