i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize