Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
